ema Geniekids Parenting Foundation - Perspectives on Parenting: The Myth of Gandhiji's 3-Monkeys

16 March 2006

The Myth of Gandhiji's 3-Monkeys

Two monks came across a swollen river that they had to cross. A young damsel, who had hurt herself, was waiting for some help to cross the same river. The elder monk carried her on his back crossed the river, and dropped her off at the other bank.
As the two monks continued their journey, the younger one’s mind was at unrest, “How could my senior do such a blasphemous act – touch a girl!”. After a long time, when the young monk could not contain himself any further, he finally asked the senior monk, “You touched that girl, how could you break our sacred vow”.
The elder monk remarked quietly, “I left that girl at the river, you are still carrying her!

We as parents are quite sensitized to Gandhiji’s mantra of “See no evil, hear no evil and say no evil”. We get worried when our children are exposed to violence on TV, or immoral behaviour in real life or when they use inappropriate language.
Hence we go about shielding our children. Check out how will you react if your child is around and
* A violent scene is on the TV
* Somebody uses foul language
* Some children of your child’s age are bulling a smaller child
* An indecently exposed photograph is there in the magazine
* You speak angrily and rudely to another person.

While I am not suggesting that we expose our children to inappropriate stuff, I want you to realize that the trouble with building a shield around a child is that sooner or later the child invariably does get exposed. Then what? The trouble is that children cannot help but “see and hear evil”.

The problem is not what Gandhiji propagated (he was a master communicator and had to simplify things for the masses). The trouble is in our literal interpretation of the same.

We are what our thoughts are. Hence, a much better proposition, as the senior monk exhibited, would be to THINK NO EVIL. A much better proposition would be to build the shield instead of around the child – INSIDE the child.

Instead of sterilizing them from all kinds of germs, make their immune system stronger.
Instead of teaching them what is right and wrong, a much better proposition would be to teach them how to decide what is right or wrong. Instead of giving them wisdom, help them discover wisdom. Instead of giving them our thoughts, encourage them to build their own thoughts and perspectives.

Somehow we believe that it is parent’s responsibility to preach, sermonize and moralize our children minds. We believe that if we do not brain wash somebody or something else would. But to us, the key to the whole process of character building is not education, but EMPOWERMENT.

While I am not going to give solutions here, as I first want to hear your views, I leave you to ponder over this with profound words of Osho Shree Rajneesh,

“I say over and over again that if you want your children to know the truth you must give them the chance to think creatively. Stop conditioning them with beliefs; allow them to understand things for themselves. Creativity will become their capacity for life; creativity will become their wisdom. That capacity and that wisdom will lead them to the uncharted sea of truth"

By Ratnesh Mathur

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4 Comments:

At March 17, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Completely reasonable,sensible,practical approach in parenting today's children.Guide them along the test track of life and allow them to discover themselves!!

 
At March 17, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The article has hit the nail bang on the head! There is no way you can prevent kids from looking at the world around them - with all its beauty & ugliness... However, more than driving your efforts to prevent them from seeing the so called wrong and the bad or evil (all relative terms...!), as much as possible, draw the child's attention to what's beautiful about life & about the world around them. Instead of constantly criticizing things around you and passing negative remarks, try appreciating things that you see… There is more good than bad anyway – it’s just that the negative is so loud that everyone notices it!

It takes a highly a open & positive mind to see beauty hidden in the ugly and smiles hidden in sorrow... when the child sees you appreciating more… he/she will automatically learn to perceive beauty & truth... the world can never be rid of the bad… it will always be present.. Just ensure the good gets greater attention... the bad will naturally be weeded out... from the body & the spirit..! And this is an effortless task…

 
At March 17, 2006, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The article has hit the nail bang on the head! There is no way you can prevent kids from looking at the world around them - with all its beauty & ugliness... However, more than driving your efforts to prevent them from seeing the so called wrong and the bad or evil (all relative terms...!), as much as possible, draw the child's attention to what's beautiful about life & about the world around them. Instead of constantly criticizing things around you and passing negative remarks, try appreciating things that you see… There is more good than bad anyway – it’s just that the negative is so loud that everyone notices it!

It takes a highly a open & positive mind to see beauty hidden in the ugly and smiles hidden in sorrow... when the child sees you appreciating more… he/she will automatically learn to perceive beauty & truth... the world can never be rid of the bad… it will always be present.. Just ensure the good gets greater attention... the bad will naturally be weeded out... from the body & the spirit..! And this is an effortless task…

 
At March 26, 2006, Blogger usha said...

I believe in telling my children how people generally react to a negative behaviour. I also leave them with 'this is how I see things, and I may not me right. So let me know if you feel otherwise'.
They come back to me with their experience.

I do believe in letting them discover for themselves but I also feel the need to keep them alart of the different thinking pattern among the people in this changing world

 

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